No Kids on Planes?

Recent news of families being kicked off planes because their kids were coughing or talking aggravates me, but not as much as some of comments appended to these stories from people who believe kids shouldn't be allowed on planes at all! This elitist, snobbish attitude that buying an airline ticket is a luxury, and any kid violating the old "children should be seen and not heard" nonsense completely ruins everything.  And if some flight attendant tells me "can't you give him any Benadryl?" I'll do my best Cheney impersonation and tell him to "Go Fuck Yourself!"

Well, if kids shouldn't be on planes, maybe we can bar some other people who make flying miserable for me:

• People who try to claim their huge suitcase is a "carry-on" item, when it barely fits in the overhead bin.  If you're trying to bring something bigger than a backpack, check it in!
• Jerks who reach over passed their armrests and elbow me, usually while their snoring soundly asleep.  If it's too much to ask for you to keep to your own personal space, take the bus next time!
• Similarly, if you can't keep your feet out of my foot area, you don't belong on a plane.  Common courtesy people!
• Inconsiderate dweebs who insist on turning on the spotlight on a late night flight while the rest of the passengers are trying to rest and relax (while being mindful of the physical space of those seated around them).
• Slobs who are either gassy or have foul breath.  We could really screen both types at the boarding gate.  That's just what I want on a 4 hour flight: some ass passing gas the whole time.  Got digestive problems?  Too bad!

The sad reality is that an airplane cramps several people together into a tight space for a long time, and you just need to accept that some of those people are going to be different from you.  Some kids handle flying really well (I've been lucky that way), but some have problems on take offs and landings, and some don't like to fly at all.  It's not a picnic for the parents either.  If you want everyone kissing your ass when you fly, pay for a private jet.